A Letter to Des: I am Blown Away by your Everything.

 Desmond,

I can't believe how much you've grown in the last three and a half months. When you arrived on the scene I was blown away by your everything. The tiniest muscle twitch from you became my moment's obsession; I never wanted to look away.

Rolling Over

I am thrilled to be a witness of these monumental and tiny feats. I am honoured to watch your growing awareness of your body as you discover your power and potential. Three weeks ago you looked at your hands for the first time. You pulled them out of your mouth and stared at them with focused intensity. Slowly you unclasped your fingers, reclasped them gently and placed them back into your mouth with a self-satisfied giggle. What a tiny moment, I thought, and yet - everyone in the world has one moment in their lives where they noticed their hands for the first time. Every human had to struggle through the lack of dexterity of babydom, these tiny firsts are a worldwide phenomenon. You remind me that all of humanity is vulnerable and amazing.

Three days ago you completely rolled over the first time. Then three more times. You scare me with your mobility, it is happening faster than I ever imagined. I'm both excited and petrified to watch you grow into a little independent human, moving your own way and making your own choices. Recently you found your tongue inside your mouth and you baaabble on and on to me, especially in the mornings. I nod at you over my first cup of coffee and we chat about our dreams at night. If I had to say, I'd guess you have pretty funny dreams the way you laugh and giggle, your voice echoing through the kitchen. And you are such a sturdy little housebeast now, you hold your own head and look where you want to look - you kick and squirm with power and strength. I am amazed at how quickly it starts.

We speak a common language, you and I, without sharing any words. It's like I was born when you were born, this new version of myself so open to learning all about you. We've grown together these last sixteen weeks and we mostly understand each other - finally. I'm enjoying listening to you explain who you are as you figure it out for yourself. I can't wait to show you the world.

xox
Mommy