Going dairy-free for my nursling was the easiest choice.

I spend a lot of time talking about gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free, yadda yadda yadda-free eating. And this is why my recipes are gluten free and dairy free. It's not exactly my idea of the perfect diet, says the cheese-loving egg-nog-missing me. But it has been by far the best choice I could ever make for me and my family.

Allow me to explain.

Around August of 2009, I started to put two and two together (OMG, FOUR!) and realised that I was not healthy and in denial. For a large part of my adult life I had been sick and still did nothing about it. So I started reading. I talked to a doctor, I talked to many friends with similar afflictions, and I decided to reduce gluten in my diet.

I started feeling a lot better. I reduced it even further. I immediately noticed that my skin was better, my stomach felt better, I was less bloated, I didn't spend hours in the bathroom every morning. Within a month my depression had lifted. Within two months, my lady-cycle was regular.

After I became pregnant, I noticed anything gluten made me much sicker than before and completely stopped eating anything with gluten. Now even a slight slip up and I am violently ill.

Easy peasy, right?

I wish that were all. After the birth of my son (almost a full year ago? holy balls.) there was a steep learning curve. He threw us for a loop. Why was he always coughing, sputtering, and screaming? Why did his breath smell like acid, why does he hiccup all day and arch his back away from me when I try to nurse him? Don't babies like to nurse? The doctor diagnosed him with reflux, gave us a prescirption and sent us on our way. We used it, and it helped with the reflux, but not with the tummy pains. And definitely not with the mucousy, frothy green poops. Yeah, that's right, poop talk. I'll try to keep it limited.

All of this, of course, was accompanied with one very unhappy baby. So we searched for answers. Several mothers recommended eliminating certain things from my diet, especially dairy, so I played around with it and saw results. Three weeks off dairy completely and we were able to ditch the reflux medicine. This led me to try a full elimination diet, eating only rice, chicken, some vegetables and few fruits for two weeks, and then slowly re-introducing foods.

At first it was very apparent that Squeaky D reacted to dairy, egg, soy, and peanut, and at the time I also suspected beef, beans, citrus, and tomato, though I can thankfully eat those now!  Lately I have also stopped eating cashews and shellfish because of recent reactions. Some of these we have actually let him try, like egg, and he has had rashes across his face and chest almost immediately afterward. Scary.

Eczema Baby D - Still getting rid of dairy

For a long time I had nothing but the anecdotal experience of very wise Mamas to back me up, and a lot of defending to do about my diet and our restrictions to family and friends. I've been told to give it up and "just wean to goat's milk" because this all must be "fake" or "too hard." But then I read Dr Jay Gordon's article analyzing dairy protein allergy in children and nurslings and I felt vindicated. More and more literature supports nursing moms who decide to eliminate dairy and other foods from their diet.

And honestly. It hasn't been that difficult. There have been times when I have forgotten to read ingredients and had a slip up, and ohh boy. There is nothing inside me that wishes that kind of pain on my little boy, no amount of delicious applewood smoked gouda could convince me to go through the terror that the following two days (and three nights) would bring. No matter how drool-worthy.

So that is why all my recipes are weirdly dairy free. And egg free. And gluten free. And all that other stuff free. I have enjoyed the challenge of teaching myself to cook, especially within these interesting restrictions. And I love me a happy, healthy baby.

Tangy Potato Salad

I love potato salad. Even the really bad, too much mayo, not enough potatoes, are there any spices in this? super bad potato salad.

But I'm dairy free. And I was egg free for so long, mayo has kind of lost it's sheen. So when we decided to host a mini bonfire and barbeque to celebrate the end of the summer, I went on a search for a new and awesome mayo-free potato salad.

And I found it on Pinterest. I freaking love Pinterest. At first I didn't get it. The hippie in me sarcastically drew conclusions (can hippies be sarcastic?) about another website encouraging mindless consumerism. Shop. Shop! SHOP!

But there is a lot more to pinterest. There are a tonne of tutorials and DIY projects, and I am ALL OVER THAT STUFF. Like patchouli on a hippie. Only I don't like patchouli. I'm obviously not a very good hippie.

But life gets a little more difficult with a baby around. And I've had such a hard time etching out space and time to get to all these crafty projects and recipes I've been pinning. In steps the magnificent Sarah Bartlett who informs me about a Pinterest Challenge. AND I CAN JOIN.

So here was my Pinterest Challenge submission. I decided to make this amazing potato salad recipe.

It is a naturally gluten free and dairy free and mayo free AND! Freaking delicious. Here is the recipe, originally found on GlutenFreeDay.com

Gratuitous use of my antique Pyrex nesting bowls.

What I used:

• 1 package of organic baby potatoes, skin on.
• 6 green onions from my garden
• 6 tablespoons organic lemon juice
• 12 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
• a bunch of finely minced fresh basil
• 3 tablespoons of capers
• salt and pepper to taste

What I did: 

I left the skin on the baby potatoes, but since I wanted them all to be bite-sized, I did have to chop a few in half or into thirds. I cooked them and let them cool while I mixed the olive oil, lemon juice, capers, and minced basil. I chopped up the onions and mixed everything together in a large bowl, making sure to coat everything. I added salt and pepper bit by bit - though a few guests decided to add more salt to their own bowls. I can be pretty stringy when it comes to salt!

Though I did leave this potato salad to sit for about an hour before serving, it was even MORE AMAZING the next day. Like, oh my god, I'm so sad there aren't more leftovers this is INCREDIBLE STUFF MY FACE NOM NOM NOM amazing. So. Try to have leftovers. 

Yay! First Pinterest Challenge Complete!  And Squeaky D seems to approve, too.

Yummmmmm.

xoxo

Farren

We Hope for More Good Days.

It's easy to post about the good days. The giggles. The smiles. The day he said Mamama for the first time. The day he sat up unassisted for a good chunk of the afternoon.

It's worthwhile to post about the inner dialogue. The struggle to connect with other women. The desire to stay neutral yet supportive when all moms are doing their very best.

It is so difficult to post about the hard days. The hard nights. The hard weeks on end. It would be so lovely to paint motherhood with this lovely brush, a scene where one woman has it all together and nothing ever goes wrong.

But it isn't like that in my household. We have hard days. We have especially hard nights. We have weeks without sleep and hours that stretch on and on like molasses in the sun. Sticky and tar black, inescapable.

Couch Cuddling on a hard day.

I could blame teething; the rivers of drool and rashy red cheeks tell me to expect baby teeth any time now. I could blame his sensitive tummy; one slip up in my elimination diet and he explodes into painful little sobs. He goes back and forth between wrenching around in pain and then stiffening harder than steel, all while breaking my heart with his little baby cries. I want him to know I would fix it if I could. I would rather feel it ten times worse than he ever has just to guarantee that he never will again.

The good days, oh we float! We are like clouds, we drift over the day in a haze of love, marvel at the sunshine and rain happiness on the people around us. We laugh and tickle, we strut around unconsiously bragging about our love bubble.

But the bad days, we close the curtains. We try anything. We try everything. But mostly we rock and cuddle. We dance and we bounce. We sing quiet songs and say "Shh shh shh, baby, I know. I know."

And we hope for more good days.