Thursday, May 5, 2011

We Hope for More Good Days.

It's easy to post about the good days. The giggles. The smiles. The day he said Mamama for the first time. The day he sat up unassisted for a good chunk of the afternoon.

It's worthwhile to post about the inner dialogue. The struggle to connect with other women. The desire to stay neutral yet supportive when all moms are doing their very best.

It is so difficult to post about the hard days. The hard nights. The hard weeks on end. It would be so lovely to paint motherhood with this lovely brush, a scene where one woman has it all together and nothing ever goes wrong.

But it isn't like that in my household. We have hard days. We have especially hard nights. We have weeks without sleep and hours that stretch on and on like molasses in the sun. Sticky and tar black, inescapable.
Couch Cuddling on a hard day.
I could blame teething; the rivers of drool and rashy red cheeks tell me to expect baby teeth any time now. I could blame his sensitive tummy; one slip up in my elimination diet and he explodes into painful little sobs. He goes back and forth between wrenching around in pain and then stiffening harder than steel, all while breaking my heart with his little baby cries. I want him to know I would fix it if I could. I would rather feel it ten times worse than he ever has just to guarantee that he never will again.

The good days, oh we float! We are like clouds, we drift over the day in a haze of love, marvel at the sunshine and rain happiness on the people around us. We laugh and tickle, we strut around unconsiously bragging about our love bubble.

But the bad days, we close the curtains. We try anything. We try everything. But mostly we rock and cuddle. We dance and we bounce. We sing quiet songs and say "Shh shh shh, baby, I know. I know."

And we hope for more good days.


  1. Oh Mama,
    Becca was a hard baby, reflux, allergies, gas (!) but honestly she's a pleasure now. All you need is time and Fennel Tea, a whole pitcher a day :)
    And know that all the intense mothering you are doing now is going to go far as he grows up as attachment is the foundation for independence.

  2. I'm excited to try fennel tea and see how it works for us!

    And thanks for the support. I agree about attachment being a foundation for independence. Babies and children need to feel 100% safe and secure before they can learn and form thoughts about the world!

  3. Sharing the hard days helps to remove the veil so to speak. If we are completely honest, there are days when mothering is hard, days when it is boring, days when it is scary and then there are days when it is exciting, fun and fascinating. By being honest about all of our days, we help those who are taking their first steps as parents to understand that parenting is all those adjectives and so much more.

  4. Now I understand where you disappeared to... English Paul